The Matching Philosophy at Over the Rainbow: Why the Right Fit Matters Most
In surrogacy, matching is not just a step in the process. It is the foundation of the entire journey.
While medical protocols, legal contracts, and timelines matter, the relationship between intended parents and a surrogate shapes how supported, respected, and confident everyone feels along the way. A thoughtful match can transform a complex process into a meaningful partnership. A rushed or misaligned match can create stress, misunderstandings, and emotional distance.
At Over the Rainbow, we believe that the right fit matters more than speed. Our matching philosophy is rooted in trust, shared values, emotional readiness, and long-term well-being for both intended parents and surrogates. This article explains why matching is so critical, how our approach is different, and why intentional matching leads to better outcomes and more positive experiences.
Why Matching Is One of the Most Important Parts of Surrogacy
Surrogacy is a months-long journey that requires collaboration, communication, and mutual respect. Intended parents and surrogates are connected through deeply personal experiences, including pregnancy milestones, medical decisions, and birth.
Research in third-party reproduction consistently shows that psychological compatibility and clear expectations are key contributors to positive surrogacy experiences. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) emphasizes that alignment in values, communication styles, and expectations helps reduce conflict and emotional stress throughout the journey.
Matching is not about finding a surrogate quickly. It is about finding a surrogate who feels right for your family and ensuring she feels equally confident in the partnership.
The Over the Rainbow Philosophy: Matching With Intention, Not Urgency
Over the Rainbow was built on the belief that surrogacy should feel human, not transactional. That belief is most evident in how we approach matching.
Our philosophy centers on:
Respect for the surrogate’s experience and autonomy
Deep understanding of each intended parent’s journey
Emotional safety for everyone involved
Long-term relationship health, not short-term efficiency
We intentionally maintain small caseloads so our team can invest the time and care needed to make thoughtful matches. This allows us to truly know the people we work with rather than relying on surface-level profiles.
What “The Right Fit” Really Means
The right fit is not about perfection. It is about alignment.
At Over the Rainbow, we look beyond basic qualifications to understand how a match will function emotionally and relationally over time.
Shared Values and Expectations
Matching begins with understanding what matters most to each party. This includes:
Views on communication and involvement
Comfort with medical decisions
Expectations around pregnancy updates
Boundaries around relationships during and after birth
Studies published by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) show that mismatched expectations are one of the most common sources of stress in third-party reproduction.
Clear alignment early helps prevent misunderstandings later.
Communication Style
Some people prefer frequent updates and close connection. Others value more structured communication. Neither approach is wrong, but compatibility matters.
We assess:
How often each party prefers to communicate
Comfort with texting, calls, or video updates
Willingness to discuss concerns openly
Healthy communication reduces anxiety and builds trust.
Emotional Readiness
Surrogacy requires emotional resilience. We ensure both intended parents and surrogates are emotionally prepared for:
Uncertainty
Waiting periods
Complex feelings during pregnancy
Transition after birth
The American Psychological Association (APA) highlights the importance of emotional readiness and psychological screening in assisted reproduction to support positive outcomes for all parties.
How Over the Rainbow Gets to Know Intended Parents
Before matching begins, we invest significant time in understanding each family’s story.
We learn about:
Your journey to surrogacy
Previous fertility experiences or losses
Your hopes and concerns
How you envision your relationship with a surrogate
Cultural, religious, or personal values that matter to you
This process is not rushed. We believe families deserve to feel seen and understood, not categorized.
How We Get to Know Our Surrogates
Surrogates are at the heart of the surrogacy journey, and their well-being is essential to a successful match.
Over the Rainbow works closely with surrogates to understand:
Their motivations for becoming a surrogate
Their support systems
Past pregnancy experiences
Communication preferences
Emotional boundaries and expectations
The Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) notes that comprehensive surrogate screening, including psychological evaluation, supports healthier relationships and better experiences throughout the journey. By deeply knowing our surrogates, we can confidently advocate for matches that honor their needs and intentions.
Why We Do Not Believe in “First Available” Matching
Some agencies prioritize speed by offering the first available surrogate who meets medical criteria. While this approach may shorten timelines, it often overlooks emotional compatibility.
At Over the Rainbow, we do not match based solely on availability.
Instead, we ask:
Does this match feel aligned on a human level?
Do both parties feel respected and heard?
Is there space for trust to grow naturally?
This philosophy may take more time upfront, but it often leads to smoother journeys, stronger relationships, and fewer conflicts later.
The Matching Meeting: Creating Space for Honest Conversation
Once a potential match is identified, we facilitate a thoughtful matching meeting.
This conversation allows both parties to:
Ask questions openly
Discuss expectations honestly
Share hopes and concerns
Explore how the relationship may evolve
We guide these conversations to ensure they feel supportive rather than intimidating.
Research from the Mayo Clinic emphasizes that clear communication and emotional support improve patient satisfaction and reduce stress in complex medical journeys.
We carry that same principle into surrogacy matching.
Ongoing Support After Matching
Matching is not the end of our involvement. It is the beginning of a partnership that requires continued care.
Over the Rainbow provides ongoing support by:
Checking in regularly with both parties
Addressing concerns early
Supporting communication throughout pregnancy
Helping navigate emotional transitions
We remain present from match through delivery and beyond.
Why Thoughtful Matching Leads to Better Outcomes
Intentional matching benefits everyone involved.
For intended parents, it can mean:
Greater peace of mind
Reduced stress during pregnancy
Stronger trust in the process
A more meaningful journey
For surrogates, it offers:
Feeling respected and valued
Emotional safety
Clear expectations
A positive experience they are proud of
According to research referenced by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), coordinated and patient-centered care improves outcomes and satisfaction in reproductive health.
Matching philosophy plays a critical role in creating that care.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does the matching process take?
Timelines vary. Because Over the Rainbow prioritizes fit over speed, matching may take longer than agencies that use a first-available approach. We believe the extra time is worth it.
Can we decline a match if it does not feel right?
Yes. Intended parents are never obligated to move forward with a match that does not feel aligned.
Do surrogates have a say in the match?
Absolutely. Matching is mutual. Surrogates must feel confident and comfortable with the intended parents as well.
What happens if concerns arise after matching?
Our team remains involved and proactive. Many concerns can be resolved through communication and support.
Why is emotional compatibility so important?
Surrogacy is a long journey. Emotional compatibility supports trust, reduces stress, and creates a healthier experience for everyone involved.
A Match That Honors the Journey
Surrogacy is built on trust, generosity, and shared purpose. The match between intended parents and a surrogate sets the tone for everything that follows.
At Over the Rainbow, we believe families deserve more than a match that works on paper. They deserve a match that feels right in their hearts.
If you are considering surrogacy and want a process grounded in care, intention, and meaningful connection, we invite you to connect with Over the Rainbow. We would be honored to help you find the right fit for your journey.