Top 5 Questions Every Intended Parent Has About Surrogacy
Curious about surrogacy? Explore the top 5 intended parent surrogacy questions, from cost and legal protection to matching and insurance. Learn how Over the Rainbow supports you through your journey.
If you're considering surrogacy, you're not alone and it’s completely normal to have a lot of questions. As intended parents, you’re entering one of the most meaningful journeys of your life, and you deserve clarity, compassion, and expert guidance every step of the way. Here are the top 5 intended parent surrogacy questions we hear at Over the Rainbow, answered with care and respect, along with insights to help you start this path with confidence.
1. How Much Does Surrogacy Really Cost?
Why this question matters: For many intended parents, cost is one of the biggest uncertainties. Surrogacy is a complex process with many moving parts, and understanding the financial commitment upfront is essential.
What you’re likely wondering: What are the major line items? How much is the surrogate paid? What about agency, legal, medical, and insurance costs? Are there hidden fees?
Over the Rainbow’s support: We work with trusted agencies and attorneys to provide you with detailed, itemized cost breakdowns. During your consultation, we’ll walk through likely scenarios, so you can budget realistically and make informed decisions.
2. How Do I Choose the Right Surrogacy Agency or Team?
Why this question matters: Your agency (or team) is your anchor through the surrogacy journey. Their experience, transparency, and values will have a major impact on your experience and outcome.
What you’re likely wondering: What should I ask an agency before signing? Do they have a track record? What support will they provide medically, legally, and emotionally?
Expert guidance: According to American Surrogacy’s blog, intended parents should ask agencies about their history, success rates, staff training, the screening process for surrogates, and the kind of support offered. The Surrogacy Insider highlights that legal protection is non–negotiable: you should always have independent counsel, and the agency should clearly explain what happens if a surrogate changes her mind. (Surrogacy Insider)
Over the Rainbow’s support: We help you evaluate potential agencies by guiding you on critical questions, facilitating reference conversations, and making sure your values and expectations align with the partner you choose.
3. What Legal Protections Do I Need?
Why this question matters: Surrogacy involves legal complexity. Without solid contracts and proper parentage orders, you risk future complications. Clarifying legal protections reduces uncertainty and ensures everyone’s rights are protected.
What you’re likely wondering: Who drafts the surrogacy contract? How do we make sure we’re legally recognized as parents? What happens if something unexpected occurs during pregnancy?
Expert clarity: The Surrogacy Insider strongly advises intended parents to insist on independent legal counsel. Agencies must not be the only source of legal documentation, because their own contracts often protect themselves first. Ask who drafts the contract, how custody and birth-certificate details are handled, and what happens in case of disagreement.
Over the Rainbow’s support: We help you connect with independent reproductive law attorneys who specialize in surrogacy. We’ll review contract templates with you, explain parentage orders, and make sure your legal foundation supports both you and your surrogate.
4. How Do I Match with the Right Surrogate?
Why this question matters: Surrogacy is not just a medical transaction. The relationship between intended parents and the surrogate matters deeply, emotionally and practically.
What you’re likely wondering: How do we find someone compatible? What qualities should we prioritize? How much communication is appropriate?
Expert insight: We emphasize the importance of “chemistry” — matching is not only about profiles, but personal connection. Surrogates usually ask intended parents about communication style, involvement during medical appointments, post-birth contact preferences, and embryo decisions. It’s also wise for intended parents to ask the agency how they support these conversations.
Over the Rainbow’s support: We help facilitate surrogate matching through careful screening and shared values. Our team supports conversations around communication preferences, medical decisions, emotional expectations, and post-birth relationship structures so that you feel confident in your match.
5. What Happens with Insurance, Medical Risks, and Other Logistics?
Why this question matters: Surrogacy involves more than just IVF — there are medical, insurance, and administrative risks that need to be addressed thoughtfully.
What you’re likely wondering: Who covers the surrogate’s medical care? What if she doesn’t have insurance? What if complications arise?
What experts recommend: You should carefully review the surrogate’s insurance policy for surrogacy exclusions. If her insurance won’t cover pregnancy or delivery, you may need to provide a separate pregnancy-friendly policy, and often life insurance as well. Agencies or lawyers often require a neutral escrow company to hold funds that will pay surrogate expenses, ensuring protection for both parties.
Over the Rainbow’s support: We guide you through insurance evaluation, escrow setup, and risk planning. We partner with experts to make sure your surrogate’s prenatal care, delivery, and any unexpected health concerns are well-covered and managed.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: Can I be present for appointments and the birth?
Yes — your level of involvement depends on your agreement with your surrogate. Many intended parents attend key appointments, and some are present at delivery. Surrogate.com notes that contact depends on what is agreed during the matching process. Over the Rainbow can help you define these boundaries and include them in your contract.
Q: How do I handle payments to the surrogate safely?
Most surrogacy journeys use an escrow account managed by a third party. This ensures funds are available and disbursed correctly as milestones are met, protecting both parties.
Q: What if my state’s laws are unclear about surrogacy?
Legal protections vary. That’s why having a reproductive-law attorney familiar with your state (and possibly the surrogate’s state) is essential. Over the Rainbow connects you with counsel who know local statutes and parentage procedures.
Q: How do we pay for surrogacy if we don’t have all the funds up front?
There are several options. Some intended parents use financing, loans, or grants. Others pay in phases, using escrow. During your Over the Rainbow consultation, we’ll talk through financial planning and help you explore resources that might apply to you.
Q: What if we don’t have a genetic link to the child?
That’s okay. Many intended parents use donor eggs or sperm. Surrogacy contracts and counseling provide guidance on what to expect, emotionally and legally. Over the Rainbow will support you through decisions around donor matching, medical protocols, and parenting planning.
Final Thoughts
These five questions represent some of the most common and critical concerns that intended parents bring to their surrogacy journey. They reflect not just practical needs (money, contracts, matching) but also the deep heart-level investments you’re making.
At Over the Rainbow, we believe that every question deserves a thoughtful answer and every concern deserves compassionate support. Whether you’re still exploring or ready to take the next step, we’re here for you: guiding, connecting, educating, and caring.
If you're ready to talk more about any of these intended parent surrogacy questions, from agency selection to legal protection, financial planning to matching, reach out for a free consultation. Let us walk alongside you in building your family, one step at a time.
Over the Rainbow was founded from a place of personal experience but it’s grown into something much greater: a community built on trust, empathy, and hope. If you’re dreaming of starting or growing your family, or if you feel called to help someone else experience that joy, we’d love to walk beside you. Because no one should face infertility or surrogacy alone.
Together, we’ll help you find your rainbow.